Category Archives: soul

Ae dil hai mushkil

Why is it that tears you miss

Why is it that pain you admire

Is there any truth to a genuine smile

Am I then just a big fat liar

This time, there is time to heal

This time, the love is cure

Why are there these depths of love

Is there enough that we keep wanting more

Is it bound to happen, will it happen

Perhaps a better preparation this time

So easy to become always yours

So difficult to ever be mine

I wish all eyes would go to sleep 

I wish all hearts be calm and still

The beauty of love lies in the end

Ae dil hai mushkil


don’t hate, meditate

I truly wish that somehow & magically, this picture travels far & reaches at least a few people who are more focused on destruction than creation! I’m just a girl hoping for a more peaceful world. We are all one and nothing without the other so let’s stop hating. Let’s live in a world with plenty of food, water, trees, and oil for everyone. We no longer have Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, or Martin Luther King. It has to be you & it has to be me. We don’t have to go on a strike or take weapons into our own hands – if we can just spread smiles, laughter, equanimity, and the overall concept of ‘all being one and nothing without the other,’ that’d be a great start, don’t you think?

makkhan maar ke


Out of 7.125 billion, there are only a handful of humans who are dependable. I happen to know one such man and he is family. His first influence on me started with timeless discussions on astrology. Here’s a confession – I suffer from short term as well as long term memory loss but to this day, I can never forget the author Linda Goodman. I was probably only 9 or 10 years old and had other problems in life but the background of starry arguments stayed with me – arguments over how you can easily divide the world population exactly in 12 and expect everyone in that sector to share the same qualities, and how it’s the aftermath of movement and relative positioning of celestial bodies. I don’t have the answer to that question and I can’t force myself to believe the division-by-12 rule, but somehow the description of Aries defines me down to a tee. Anyways, after hours spent in this fruitless discussion, we would all be tired, forget about the stars, and start singing – ‘neele-neele ambar par’.

From those night-outs to this day, it has been a memorable journey – a journey full of ice cream sundaes, serious discussions about the purpose of life, senseless laughter, forgetting & forgiving, frosty trips to Manali, and countless aloo-gobhi-paneer parathas – makkhan maar ke! I have been welcomed, I have been loved, and I have been spoilt. But my favorite part about him, and what I admire the most is him just being there – in the bad times, at the toughest hours, without hesitation.

What you do creates a ripple effect and spreads across. What you give is priceless and with all your heart. So thank you for being there in good times and bad, in joy and tears, in sickness and health. Thank you from the bottom of my heart – you can always count on me.

feeling the feeling

As soon as a soldier puts down his sword to rest, that’s when he gets attacked. I don’t know what emotion this is but this is my current emotion. I feel unprepared for an upcoming surprise attack. Someone’s watching hidden from a corner and waiting for me to put my sword down. And I can’t relax if I’m alert; the sword weighs me down. How do I close my eyes, how do I drink water, how do I exhale? And so I feel helplessly unprotected. This reminds me of a childhood chase dream I get once every 5 years – a gorilla, a very hairy gorilla with thick black hair is chasing to hunt me down in the middle of the forest and the only way out is to outrun him but I can’t make my feet move an inch.

I firmly believe in feeling the feeling. Acknowledge it. Welcome it. Analyze it. Understand it. Challenge it. Befriend it. Then wear a smile and say goodbye. If not, it may chase you down in form of a gorilla, a very hairy gorilla with thick black hair. And so that’s what I’m doing – I’m feeling the feeling.

the smile energy

You can’t see farts but your nose will tell you. You can’t see Australia while sitting at the edge of the Pacific, but your ‘mate’ sure is gulping down Fosters. You can’t poke your dreams. Galaxies, emotions, evolution, energy, and magnetic field – their existence cannot be physically touched but they all exist.

Altin, an international cyclist turned Bikram yoga instructor, spent an hour observing my yoga postures and told me that I’m strong-willed, determined, and a firm woman. He observed my body language and then told me that I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. He pressed down on my nano muscles and transferred some form of energy. It soothed me and was a perfect transfer, but I have no clue what it was.

It makes me wonder about Reiki & Chi Gong.

Kinetic, potential, chemical, thermal, or nuclear – out of all known forms, my favorite is the smile energy. I think Robin Williams was a master at this one. He once dressed in blue scrubs and faked a German accent to surprise one of his Julliard friends in the hospital. He transferred a million smiles to the audience while constantly switching costumes in Mrs. Doubtfire. During the filming of ‘Schindler’s list,’ Robin called Steven Spielberg to tell him jokes and lift his spirits. In high school, he was apparently voted by his classmates as the ‘least likely to succeed.’

Smile energy, my favorite.

some never leave

It was only a matter of telling her a silly joke and all we had to do was watch her incessant crazy addicting laughter for minutes. It included an exponentially increasing pitch, exposure of all 32 teeth, and holding her tummy so it would not explode. At times, even rolling on the floor was a sight.

At times I wonder if half of my childhood calories were purely her fault – her insisting on having at least 2 cups of pineapple ice cream, the unending chaat that only started with golgappas, aloo tikki, and papri chaat, and trips to the main market for the ever so delicious chole-bhature.

She was a constant running machine. She would go through at least 3 different modes of transportation just to meet any one of us cousins wherever we may have been. She welcomed with an open heart, and would get angry with passion. In all that she did, she gave it her all.


She was an example of how to express love, how to let go, and how to hold on to happiness. She may physically be gone but her memory will never diminish. I can still hear her voice and her laughter will never fade. In her suffering, she taught us life. She taught me strength that will never fall short.

She was a fan of my dances, my acting, and my laughter. I never realized that all this time, I’ve been a fan of hers.

people like us

The maximum beauty lies where no one has laid eyes before. Treasures a bit hidden are the most miraculous. Unknown intentions, hidden records, and something selfless. A few clicked pictures, a care package, and honey-dipped memories. That aura you leave after you’re gone. Things with no mention carry the most weight.

Sometimes one has to die to simply exist.” – Roohism


eat pray love

I am to write a bulleted list of my accomplishments. Yes, the boss is expecting percentages, numbers, and factual data. Here it is.

  • Designed the overall life vision and the roadmap to implement happiness, satisfaction, and continual improvement.
  • Led a cross-functional team of all five senses to develop and implement a robust and self-sustaining Life Management System.
  • Integrated Buddhist methodologies and Hinduism philosophy across the entire thought process to improve Friend Quality, Family Quality, and Self Quality resulting in a substantial increase in the overall soul satisfaction.
  • Brought a change in the organizational culture and influenced each human to eat, pray, and love.
  • Brought a change in the organizational culture and influenced a few to move from stained coffee mugs to fragrant tea tumblers.
  • Automated daily smiles and centralized laughter database at various levels.
  • Led a team to get the new Thousand Oaks life certified with Laughter 9001:2008 within 90 days. The certification was awarded with minimal frowns and zero PIP’s.
  • Developed friendships and enforced controls resulting in the following improvements:

~ 54% reduction in the global unhealthy food habits from Q4’11 to Q4’12.
~ 93% reduction in ‘Quality department sucks’/’Quality only creates problems’ related issues from Q4’11 to Q4’12.
~ 31% reduction in # Nexsan human pounds from Q3’12 to Q4’12.
~ 88% reduction in feeling lonely and hopeless from Q3’12 to Q4’12.
~ 2.3% improvement in smiling and making others smile from 2011 to 2012.
~ 7.0% improvement in self-confidence, self-sustenance, and self-preservation from 2011 to 2012.

love actually

While I was fixing some of the material handling issues, F1 was on amazon ordering me a book. She couldn’t wait for me to be surprised and so she ordered the next day delivery. I drove 351 miles north only to see a frown. F2 was mad at me because half hour just wasn’t enough. It was his birthday the very next day and he wanted no cupcake. He wanted more of Roohi. While I was trying to cover it up with makeup, F3 was in line for something sweet. I got a call from F4 while she missed her boyfriend and wanted to instantly fly to Bern just to be with him. I also got a call while she was super buzzed and wanted me to listen to her irrepressible laughter. F5 sat through the fall, through the vulnerability.

I was buying tea for F6 while she was out choosing a 100% cotton nighty for me. She spent several minutes wondering if I’d like the color or if it’ll even fit me. F7 watched from a distance, observed me quietly, gave me time and followed up the next day. F8 stared and learned through a hesitant smile. He later sneaked in sideways and scared the shit out of me.

I was mad at F9 and gave him an earful. Now he cares enough and behaves. F10 was mad at me and gave me an earful. She was worried and concerned, and I deserved a full round of yelling. F11 expresses through anger, like sweetness wrapped in a 70% cocoa bittersweet dark chocolate.

The lit up eyes, the honest smiles, and those bone-crunching hugs say a lot. However, the wounded heart, the frowning face, the rolling tears, anger, and angst may also say the same. It’s a myth that love, friendship, care, and concern can only be shown in positive forms. Someone crying, someone mad, and someone scared of you could be a form as well. Someone spending even 5 minutes of their busy day thinking about you is a form of love, unless they are planning to kill you, of course.

There is love in jealousy.
A wee bit in anger.
Love is there in strength.
And more so in weakness.
It’s in everything irrational.
And yet, it’s only rational.
There is love in fear.
A little hidden in a tear.


the iron lady

I respectfully disagree with whoever says life is suffering. If life is suffering, what wakes me up every morning? What drives me to do better every single time? What in me overcomes the struggles and the pain? What gives me the power and the courage?

Yes, there are moments of weakness but only to realize the meaning of strength. There are tears but I’ve been given 2 hands to wipe them off. There are hurdles but only to be considered as challenges. I do get knocked down but only to get up again.

Darwin, Einstein, and Newton wouldn’t have cared about a monkey, a ball in motion, or a fallen apple. If life is suffering, there will be no positivity left in this world. All gyms would close down and self-improvement books would take a hit. We would need to erase some words from the dictionary, words like faith, patience, and optimism. The highest bidding products would be anti-depressants and cyanide pills instead of iPad mini. No one would visit the temples and meditation gurus would need to start looking for a job. If life is, in fact, all suffering, then all glasses would be empty and there will be no bright side.

I believe in getting up, dusting off, and marching ahead. Everything happens for a reason and some reasons are beyond comprehension unless we wait for 5 years when we can logically look back and analyze with a clear head, from a distance, and out of the box. There is an equilibrium to everything.

I’ve the tensile strength of structured steel and I’ll not stay down. I agree with the Chumbawamba philosophy and still believe that life is beautiful.

Life is beautiful and so are we!

I believe in getting up, dusting off, and marching ahead.” – Roohism