A beautiful Italian man, a curly-haired and golden-skinned Italian man once stole a quote from somewhere – “The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.” I wouldn’t call this a perfect overlap of Physics & Psychology but this quote seems to be a result of the cause & effect theory applied on why we feel the way we feel. In my particular case, the effect of this quote has been quite effective, and in return has caused me to be more effective at causing effects.
The more I follow, the more I find it, just written by different authors, expressed in unique ways.
My very first book came to me as a gift from my brother in his effort to fix how awkwardly silent I used to be as a child. ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie. The morning after reading the first chapter, I walked with an extra sway that lasted 2 seconds since I was late for my 7:15am Public Speaking class. I saw a woman walking towards me, I wished her good morning and admired how beautiful her scarf was. And then, I gathered the courage to actually say it out loud. That moment came with an operant conditioning, her instant smile, and a realization that you are capable of improving someone’s day. No flowers necessary.
Many years later, this message was followed by ‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz. Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity, say only what you mean, and use the power of your words in the direction of truth and love. I think of this one every time I hear damaging words. And when I do, I come up with fantastic quotes, the recent one being – “Every time you open your mouth, build someone up.”
The last good one I read on the topic was the bucket book ‘How Full Is Your Bucket’ by Rath and the supposed grandfather of positive psychology, Clifton. At any rendezvous with a friend or an unexpected interaction with a stranger, there is a latent effect and a secret transfer of energy, sometimes positive, sometimes negative. What we say or do carries over an innocent, seemingly ineffectual effect.
All of this, Gandhi’s philosophy of thoughts turning into words and words into actions, and more makes me wonder how one quick exchange can either make or disturb your inner balance, how it can lift one up or bring one down. All it takes is an expression, a tone, or a few words. We may all act tough, and yet we are so gentle and impressionable. We are always talking about owning our own remote, and yet getting unknowingly triggered. It is now making me go back in time and think if I may have created a negative impact, if I may have hurt a few balanced beings, if I may have ill-used my superpowers.
We are affected every minute and affecting every second. And every single time, we make a choice – to be gentle in our thoughts and kind in our words, or just generally damaging. We either pull our own self and others into the light, or say out loud in Darth Vader’s voice “Welcome to the dark side!”
Notes: I took this picture while on a bus that was on the ferry crossing the Norwegian fjords. It took my breath away as it displayed both the light, and the dark controlled by one sun. It made me think of how we have a superpower to be, become, and create both energies – positive or negative.